For the past several weeks, at least, I have been uninspired. Oh, sure, I still come up with the little insights here and there and once in a while I am even compelled to share them with the world. But more often than not, I have not been sufficiently inspired to put down the words and on the occasions where it was forced, the results were not exactly profound. Of course, profundity is best left for others to judge, but inasmuch as I know it when I don’t see it, well, that has been my story.
Until very recently this dis-inspiration has spilled over into my academic writing as well. In fact, it might have been one of my research papers that provoked it all in the first place. Until earlier today, I was grasping at straws trying to find just one strong enough to hold on to. Finally, I have found one that is solid enough… still tenuous, as straws tend to be, but solid enough. It has inspired much more than a flow of words – in this forum and others, it has given me the motivation to pour it on, to read all that boring theory with renewed vigor because now I can see how it all fits into the puzzle. And the best part? It got the words moving again.
Prior to finding this path, everything I did felt futile, as though I knew it was likely not going to be of any use anyway. Although I know that this is never the case – that the work will be profoundly useful sometime, and probably at just the right moment – it is difficult when I knew the time I was using could have been used toward my task at hand. And there’s the irony; it was being used toward that end. It should come as no surprise (but it always does) that this is my way… it’s how I do a great many things, especially where creativity is concerned. Suffice it to say that the floodgates are now open; I am running hard with a distinct direction.
Actually, I have several distinct directions. It seems as though once that mental roadblock was removed, it allowed all my other energies to be focused once again, albeit in very different directions. But each is now much clearer and, though there is a mountain of work to do, I can see the path now and I know where it all leads...
Just over the next hill.